Since I never had children of my own — likely a good thing, considering what a problem child I was — I have adopted my grand-nieces and grand-nephews to fill the grandchildren position. They were, in fact, one of the deciding factors that landed me in Fairhope. I have four grandchildren in Mobile and three in Pensacola whose parents are more than willing to share them with me anytime.
I am not a disciplinarian by any stretch of the imagination, a characteristic that often has its opposition. I love that the children are playful, creative and energetic, and I want them to have the freedom to explore without limits — a theory that is not shared by everyone. Until I am given more specific instructions, I will continue to allow the exploration and the activities that nurture their imaginative play, and I will continue to be in awe of their energy, creativity and brilliance.
The Golfers Were Not Amused
The evidence of my approach is accumulating. Like the time I took the children for lunch at a golf club and let them play outside the window while we waited for our food. I watched them make a game of rolling down the hills, and my only indication that their landings were a putting green at the base of the hills was the total exodus of practicing golfers. I think the golfers did not appreciate the creativity of the children’s game — or maybe they were all just frustrated with their own putting skills. Hard to tell.
Or the day I took them to the game room next to my pickleball courts. The first ten minutes were great, but as soon as I stepped onto the courts for my first game, they ran out asking if they could play upstairs on the skywalk. Within minutes the pickleball games were halted by overhead running and harmonic shouting. When I looked up, elderly people on the track had pinned themselves against the walls in awe. It was a joyous celebration of youth, but not everyone saw it that way. I brought the children back down to the game room, just in case.
Tough Negotiators and Discerning Foodies
Already I am witnessing the development of valuable negotiation skills. Before Christmas, I offered the children a choice of cash, gift cards or a present. They opened negotiations with “How much cash?” When I offered $25 each, they pondered a bit before replying that $50 sounded a lot better. I applaud their enterprise. This skill will serve them well in the world of business.
At such young ages, these precious angels have also become foodies, able to detect any variation in their food’s ingredients. I made homemade mac and cheese with cream sauce and sharp-aged white cheddar; they detected the variation immediately. “Frannie, mac and cheese is supposed to be orange. We can’t eat this. It’s not orange!” Their palates are so acute they can taste color. I stocked up on the powdered-cheese kind. Their tastes are steeped in nostalgia.
The children and I often explore new restaurants in Fairhope, though more than once the exploration has been unsuccessful due to the restaurants’ higher standards for quality cuisine and restrictive ambiance. I am still learning which restaurants will accommodate our lower standards in food fare and tolerate the creative activity of inspired children.
Whirlwind Visits, Peaceful Returns
When the kids are in my home, it is a whirlwind of entertainment. My antique oversized coffee table serves as a stage for singing, dancing and gymnastics. My new hardwood floors are the tracks for tricycles and plastic cars. Countertops are covered with tea sets, mini cars and talking animals. There is never a dull moment — and I am always glad to restore peace, quiet, routine and order when I return them to their parents.
I preface the exchange with a full confession: they have not had a bath, brushed their teeth, or eaten anything without sugar or cheese since they arrived. Oh, and they have cotton candy in their suitcases, and I paid them $5 each to play the “silent game” on the way home. We had a great time. Their parents, who have the coolest parents ever, always reply “it was so worth it!” I’m not sure exactly what that means, but I’m pretty sure it is “thank you.”
For fellow grandparents and grand-aunts, a few noteworthy tips. Give yourself permission to be a kid again and play without reservation, within your physical limitations and medical restrictions. Do not offer to help the children with their homework — you won’t understand it. It’s fine to ask them to help with your electronics, but don’t give them your passwords. And enjoy every moment with them while they still think you are fun and want to spend time with you. That last one goes faster than you think.