New Year’s resolutions, like football coaches’ contracts, are made to be broken. The strong-willed among us keep them. Most people suspect, somewhere below the level of conscious thought, that they will not be celebrating a triumph 365 days later.
There is, however, a solution to the discomfort: make the resolutions for somebody else. The disappointment, when it comes, will at least not be personal.
In that spirit, a group of Mobile-area media figures and public officials were asked at the end of 2008 to write New Year’s resolutions on one another’s behalf. What came back was a small, unguarded portrait of a city’s civic life at the close of a year that had begun in boom and ended in crisis.
The press on the politicians, and vice versa
WKRG-TV reporter Tiffany Craig kept it brief: “In 2009, try not to say anything stupid until the camera is rolling!”
Fox10 anchorman Bob Grip was loftier. “I would ask them to resolve to serve as statesmen, not politicians.”
City Clerk Lisa Carroll Lambert turned the exercise back on the reporters. Her resolution for them: when writing, ask yourself, “Would I want this written about me like this?”
Wish lists with names attached
Wade Perry of the Mobile County Education Association supplied a list. He wanted state Sen. Ben Brooks to “stand up for his constituents by getting tough on big insurance” — a live grievance on a coast where homeowners’ premiums had been climbing since Hurricane Katrina. He wanted school board member Judy Stout to work on her public remarks about the school system. He wanted the County Commission to formalize a policy limiting its education program fund to education rather than, as he put it, concerts. And he wanted former Mayor Mike Dow to run for Congress, should U.S. Rep. Jo Bonner run for governor.
Mike Lee, president and chief executive of Page & Jones, Inc., asked for something less specific and, in hindsight, more difficult: “Keep your eye on the prize. Not just in terms of economic development, but in terms of the area’s overall success that came from team work. Elected officials, business leaders, educators. Don’t let that spirit of cooperation slip away.”
Lagniappe columnist Ashley Toland, drafting her own annual resolutions column at the same time, confessed she was still working on it — but had something in mind involving City Councilman Clinton Johnson, a jar, and a dollar for every time he referred to himself in the third person while addressing his colleagues. Proceeds, she imagined, would finance Councilman Fred Richardson‘s travels.
Paul Hubbert of the Alabama Education Association wanted two things, and they were the same thing: “A better economy. No proration.” With state revenues collapsing, mid-year cuts to the education budget were no longer hypothetical.
An anonymous businessman’s litany
One local businessman, who asked that his initials stand in for his name, filed the longest entry. He wanted County Commissioner Steve Nodine, Mayor Sam Jones and the rest to keep fighting for the Northrop Grumman tanker program at Brookley: “We have nothing to lose and everything to gain.” He wanted County Commissioner Mike Dean to return phone calls and fix roads for everyone, “even those who do not contribute to his campaign.” He wanted Richardson to spend his discretionary funds in his own district, and he questioned the wisdom of investing $275,000 — or worse, $400,000 — of public money in the Gulf Coast Classic, an event he argued the city effectively already had for a fraction of the price. He warned council members against threatening the funding of established assets such as the Senior Bowl and the GMAC Bowl as leverage in that fight, noting that other cities would gladly take them.
His closing resolution was a single word, to be repeated every morning: “Bla-GOY-ye-vich” — the name of the Illinois governor then facing federal corruption charges. His point was not subtle. Remember the politicians who isolated themselves, who were driven by ego or greed, who forgot they were accountable to an electorate. “Remember this is LOCAL government, for God’s sake.”
The long view
Lt. Gov. Jim Folsom Jr. offered the statesman’s version: “We should all be resolved to facing our challenges facing our economic situation in Alabama. And we shall.”
Casi Callaway, executive director of Mobile Baykeeper, asked for decisions built on a horizon longer than the next election. “If they thought about our children and grandchildren, they wouldn’t make bad choices and would include protecting what is so beautiful about our home — our natural resources — in every vote.”
Grey Cane III of the Coastal Conservation Association wanted Gov. Bob Riley to support a ban on gill nets in Alabama’s coastal waters — and to fund the buyout of the nets.
And one man kept it simple
City Council President Reggie Copeland, 79 years old and 6-foot-4, stuck with the tried and true. He intended to lose the 30 pounds he had gained on the banquet and reception circuit.
“I’ve got to lose 30 pounds or the doctor’s going to order a tummy tuck,” Copeland said. “I’ve been to too many parties. I’ve got to lose 30 pounds and I’m going to do it.”
So how much was he carrying? “I’m going to lose 30 pounds,” he replied.